Sir Florian Ognob QC (ortho_bob) wrote,
Sir Florian Ognob QC

Forgotten torments of the schoolyard 1899-1968

"As well as the well-documented Wet Willy, Indian Rub and Chinese Burn, pint-sized ruffians of the schoolyard were also know to inflict the following:

The Ukrainian Shove, the Sticky Norman, the Double Professor, the Damp Cuthbert, the Sideways Shamble, the Estonian Tickle, the Meaningless List, the Triple Professor, the Icelandic Stare, the Sudden Chadwick, the Flange, the unspeakable Minnesota Finger, the Feigned Kick, the Camel's Elbow, the Gummy Edna, the Bird of Paradise (3rd and 4th position), the Ohio Heel, the shameful Delayed Royston, the Glistening Gilbert, the Kenosha Kid, the Dog Boarding Rebuke, the misleadingly entitled Housewife's Catastrophe, the Arctic Thumb, the Smiling Imposter, the Mildred, the Sentient Shoe, the Ocky-Ocky-Oi, the Tepid Terrence, the Castleford Soak and the rare but often lethal Chocolate Avalanche."

-- From Invocations of a Rotten Childhood, Norris Sandcastle (University of Duck Gulch Press, 1993)

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